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The attached document obtained by Generally Awesome Dotcom was written by a 9th grade NYC Public High School student in the Bronx.

Ruben’s Breaking Up Rules!!!

1) Never let her see you cry.

2) If she says she never liked you, you tell her you played her with her sister.

3) Never, ever, ever, ever, ever say you will miss her.

4) You ask her if she wants to go strictly booty call.

5) If she says no you tell her to go home and f*%# herself.

Editorial Note: The level of immaturity shown in this composition is not that of a high school freshman. This level of immaturity is more indicative of a college freshman. I also enjoy the order of events. Specifically I like how the request to “go strictly booty call” is preceded by informing the girl that you played her with her sister. Now in this case there are two possibilities, each of which are very entertaining. The first is that Ruben actually did play the girl with her sister. Even more entertaining is the possibility that Ruben is just telling her that to get back at her.

After a conversation with other students, Generally Awesome was able to determine that the above list was based on an actual experience in Ruben’s life. In this episode the outcome of following these steps was that Ruben was forced to flee from his ex-girlfriend in order to avoid injury.

The above information is authentic and represents several people’s accounts of events that actually transpired.

by CWH


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