Harvard Senior's Thesis Voted # 1 in Universe

Cameron Hatch guards his award closely.

Cambridge, MA (AP) Saturday afternoon Cameron Hatch was awarded the honor of "#1 Thesis in the Universe" for his senior thesis entitled "Unrealistically Realistic Realism: Typical and Atypical Responses to the Modern Quotidian."

In his acceptance speech Cameron Hatch started by thanking his family and Dr. John H. Crabtree, his thesis advisor. Hatch went on to mention others in his speech as well. "I would also like to express my appreciation for Brother [Cornell] West, who, with the recording of his hip-hop albums, showed me that, even in the midst of academia, non-scholastic pursuits don't have to be put on hold for serious academic research," said Hatch.

Spike Lee's films were also mentioned by Hatch as a source of inspiration for his thesis. "Spike's films are ostensibly about white oppression of black minorities in excluding them from the socio-political power structure. But under the surface this is clearly a reference to the attempts of the Spanish Armada to destroy pirates and keep them from getting hold of Spanish gold in the Caribbean in the seventeenth century. In my thesis I have tried to make similar references to pirates, some being less subtle than others," said Hatch.

The Universal Academy of Academic Universities (UAAU) announced the unanimous results of voting that took place last Wednesday. "A unanimous vote for this award is unprecedented, mostly because this year is the first time that this honor was awarded," said Dr. Crabtree.

"Although vote tabulation only took seven minutes, we decided to wait for Saturday's ceremony to make the announcement," UAAU balloting officials said yesterday. Officials attributed the rapid tabulation to a new automated computer voting system. The representative for the independent accounting firm of Thurst & Young, who verified election results, added that the fact that there was only one vote cast might have also been a factor.

The UAAU was founded in late April 2003 by Catch Hameron who is currently the only voting member of the organization whose membership is comprised of Hameron and his dog Snipe. "Originally Snipe was also slated to vote, but his voting privileges were revoked after an incident during a board meeting where he left a "mess" on the floor. That type of thing is clearly against the Academy's charter," said Hameron via e-mail yesterday.


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