Sexy Prefixes

It all started with the hetero’s. Then came the homo’s. After that were the bi’s and the trans’. Now we have the most recent addition to the family- metrosexuals. These are straight men who have a gay sensibility.

It is unclear who started this proliferation of prefixes for the word sexual, but I for one am glad. If there is one thing I love it is prefixes. If there is another thing I love it is a list. So I came up with a list of new prefixes for the word sexual.

Pyrosexual- Straight people who also happen to enjoy relationships with objects that are on fire. [Fact: The plight of pyrosexuals includes the struggle to find good health insurance coverage.]

Gyrosexual- Straight people who find Greek food extremely provocative. [Fact: The number of declared gyrosexuals quadrupled after the release of the film My Big Fat Greek Wedding.]

Jethrosexual- People who are basically hetero’s but also happen to be attracted to people with the name Jethro. [Fact: 98% of jethrosexuals are attracted to Jethro Tull.]

Sumosexual- Individuals who are heterosexual, but have a passion for sumo wrestling. [Fact: Ironically enough 67% of sumosexuals have never played Streetfighter II Turbo.]

Technosexual- Basically heterosexual, but easily aroused by techno music. [Fact: Kraftwerk is the founding band of this movement.]

Edusexual- Unlike the other groups, this group is not heterosexual, but rather asexual in nature. They are aroused by intellectual pursuits and frequently engage in “mental masturbation.” [Fact: Boston, MA has the highest population density of edusexuals in the U.S.]

by CWH


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