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Restaurant Goers Call 'Rockbottom' Misnomer
Cambridge, MA (AP) As Duncan Johnson took off his shirt last Wednesday night before a rowdy party of Dorm Crew captains in a local Harvard Square eatery restaurant goers exclaimed, "Rockbottom? The show tonight makes this place tops in my book," in reference to Johnson stripping exhibition. Another onlooker stated, "Yeah, with such a chiseled upper body as that on display this place should call itself 'Rocktop.'"
Stakes were high as Johnson made his chest bare for all present at the Captains' Dinner to see, in a dining establishment that will go out of business in the coming weeks. Johnson took his shirt off for a reported $135 purse, collected from the ranks of Dorm Crew captains.
Money collections for the purpose of clothing removal from one's self is not a new phenomenon to Dorm Crew. Two years ago captain Rob[o] (San) Lucas doffed his shirt after being offer approximately $270, although the amount eventually collected totaled closer to $230.
Unlike the Lucas encounter, however, Johnson was quite painstaking and methodical in his technique, proceeding to stand on the restaurant chair and remove his own shirt with no sense of urgency, after which he inquired confidently, "Who's your daddy?" Although no one spoke, the inaudible, yet clear response was, "You are Duncan! You are!'
General consensus amongst those present was that Johnson's performance surpassed Lucas' of two years ago. "I think it is like computers, they just keep getting cheaper and better," said Cameron Hatch.
[Editor's note: Dorm Crew is a student run group responsible for cleaning the dorms on Harvard Campus following move-out. Those students who supervise the endeavor bear the title of "captain."]