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Posted 2/1/2004

1. Epigrammies #216/217
2. Mad Cow Self Test
3. Failed T-Shirt Ideas
4. Von Dutch Stands for VD
5. Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

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Lawyer Finds Extra Loopholes in Hockey Skate

The red arrows indicate the loopholes that Lawyer Seddrick Anderson discovered this weekend.

New York, NY Over the weekend renowned contract and tax attorney Seddrick Anderson, Esquire took advantage of the extra loopholes that he was able to find on rental skates. The incident occurred Saturday afternoon at Riverbank State Park near 145 St and Broadway.

I dont normally rent hockey skates, but decided that I would give it a try. At first I felt very unstable, lacking enough ankle support, Mr. Anderson told Generally Awesome. I thought maybe my laces were not tight enough. When I stopped to tighten them I noticed the extra loopholes. By running the laces through the extra holes I felt more stable on my feet.

As an attorney specializing in contract and tax law, Seddrick is no stranger to finding loopholes. In fact Mr. Anderson showed enough prowess at the task to earn the status of partner in his Midtown Manhattan law firm, which specializes in helping clients set up offshore tax shelters and nullifying unprofitable contracts by back door escape clauses.

I thrive in a competitive environment, said Mr. Anderson. As a little extra incentive this year our office started a friendly wager to see who could find the most loopholes over the course of 2004. The winner gets a three-week cruise to the Bahamas paid for by the other partners. You better believe that I am going to count these two loopholes on my score!

Seddrick was at the ice rink with his son, who wanted to spend the afternoon with his father while brushing up on his skating footwork.

I prefer going skating in Central Park or at Rockefeller Center. But my dad always takes me to the State Park because he is such a cheap skate, no pun intended, said his 12 year old son Albert. In fact the real reason my dad rented the hockey skates is because they were 75 cents cheaper than the other skates.

In a related note, Mr. Anderson billed the hours that he spent with son ice skating to a private client who owns a controlling share of stock in a leading manufacturer of hockey equipment. The charge was 2.5 hours at $500/hr for background case research.

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