Occasionally lame. Generally Awesome.

"Occasionally lame, but generally awesome."
AWESOME VIDEOS! Animal Videos!

Posted 10/16/2004


Spokane Real Estate
Chocolat Elegant
I Love Brazil

Become a Sponsor


Generally Awesome 2
Weasel Breath
I love New York t-shirt $5.99
Acquaintances & Friends

1 Cute Kitty Shirts & More

I Love Brazil

Educational Links

Paternity Tests Confirm Yankees Are Pedro’s Father

Boston, MA Friday afternoon a group of researchers at Beth Israel Medical Center in Boston announced the results a paternity test which confirms that the Yankees are indeed Pedro Martinez’s biological father. But which one of them, you ask? ALL of THEM!

“Through extensive DNA sequencing techniques we were able to analyze the DNA of Pedro Martinez and compare it to the DNA of all the members of the Yankees starting line-up as well as that of Steinbrenner and Joe Torre. What we discovered was that Pedro is carrying a composite gene made up of parts of all the Yankees,” said the team leader.

The scientists were able to conduct tests on the DNA of these players after reaching a licensing agreement with Major League Baseball, the terms of which were not made public.

On the heals of this announcement the scientific community was set abuzz with queries into how such a thing could be possible. Researchers from MIT announced plans for the same expository article to be published concurrently in Nature Magazine and Baseball Weekly which will explain how the team of geneticist, fertility doctors, bio-engineers, physicist and theoretical astro-physicist were able to accomplish such a feat.

At the press conference the MIT researcher were pressed by reporters for more details and replied only that “after resolving a couple quantum mechanical issues the procedure was a relatively simple matter of time-travel, chromosome splitting, reverse bio-engineering and covert insemination.”

They made only that short statement, saying that further information would be forthcoming in the article, which should hit newsstands just in time for the World Series, and may overshadow the Series due to its monumental implications for the sport of baseball.

No word yet as to whether or not Pedro’s mother will pursue legal action against the deep-pocketed Yankees to receive back child support payments.

Concept by Matt Burnham, written by GA staff!

For rare animals from miniature rodeo bulls to coturnix quail visit www.HatchFarms.com

E-mail this link to friends!


What does the sounds of silence look like?
October 24, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving Turkey Maze
November 22, 2012

Baby hanging Station
August 4, 2012

Justin Bieber Should Be Your Attourney
May 10, 2012

420 Designs or h2o Designs
March 31, 2012

Book Review: I Hate You, Kelly Donahue
February 11, 2012

Advice for Rich Brazilians
December 17, 2011

Bunk Desks
October 26, 2011

Book Review: When Parents Text: So Much Said, So Little Understood
September 2, 2011

Book Review: The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
June 25, 2011

Obama V Osama
May 16, 2011

Quality Cabinets
May 11, 2011

Pink Bullets by the Shins
April 12, 2011

Amazon.com 100 Hot DVDs

Funny 50 Cent & Eminem Humor
Nov. 07, 2005

Jedi Skills Tournament
Apr. 14, 2005

True Story About Puppies and Alcoholic Kitties
Aug. 10, 2004

The Real South Bronx (w/ video)
May 21, 2004


_______ "Occasionally lame, but generally awesome."________

Home | Comics | Humor | Archive | Photos | Pirates | Store

Skateboarding Videos
Awesome Chairs
Mesh Office Chairs
Leather & Ergonomic Office Chairs

All content ©www.GenerallyAwesome.com 2003-2024 Privacy | Disclaimer | Meet the Staff! | Contact Us | SEARCH | Advertise