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Posted 6/23/2005


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Jackson to Base New Neverland 'Emotional Roller Coaster' Ride on Recent Trial

Current features at the Neverland Ranch private theme park.

Santa Maria, CA Now that Jackson has had time for his kettle to settle after the verdict of his recent child molestation trial the former pop-star is considering adding to the rides at his private theme park with the addition of an “emotional roller coaster” ride.

“The range of emotions that I went through during the trial was intense. One minute I was on top of the world dancing on cars. Then before I knew it I was plunged into the depths of suffering with back pain and loss of appetite,” Jackson told close friends. “This swaying back and forth was a mix between the feelings I have while riding on the Ferris Wheel and riding the tea cups, plus a few other unique sensations.”

According to advisors the ride’s design will basically consist of a couch, a television set, and a video playback devise to allow for Jackson and invited guests to experience the waves of emotion as they retrace the steps of the trial.

“The physical design of the ride is very simple, but knowing Michael we will end up lavishing $500,000 on the thing for pointless details like imported velvet upholstery for the couch,” said one Jackson aide.

Those close to Jackson predict that the ride will be at least as likely to induce vomiting in Jackson as any of the other rides in Neverland.

The ride will be equipped with several key safety features like barf bags in every seat. There will also be an automatic shutdown switch next to Jackson’s seat, should the ride prove to be too intense for King of Pop.

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