Scientists Link March Madness and Mad Cow Disease
New York, NY In a study set to be released this week Scientist have found a correlation between seemingly unrelated phenomena of March Madness and Mad Cow. The study will be published simultaneously in the New England Journal of Medicists and EPSM Magazine.
“It appears that the infectious nature of March Madness is so pervasive that even common farm animals are susceptible to its effects,” said John H. Crabtree, Scientist and NCCA basketball enthusiast.
The authors of the survey have found that Mad Cow disease occurs on a much higher rate in the month of March.
Animal psychologists speculate that the activities of March may stimulate the cows and thus causing those carrying the disease to manifest at a much higher rate.
“The fact that the basketball players are using basketballs made of leather gets them really worked up. And when cows get worked up, that’s when they turn mad” said one Researcher.
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Another researcher added “the fall and winter months are pretty calm because Football players are using Pigskin balls, which does not bother cows at all. In fact some cows delight in the knowledge that many pigs had to die in order for the game to go on. That is because pigs and cows are long-time rivals. "
According to Animal Psychologist circles, cows and pigs have a long-standing, antagonistic relationship with each other. These scientists claim that George Orwell perhaps documented this relationship best in his seminal treatise on animal psychology “Animal Farm.”
The CDC and FDA have both issued a joint advisory cautioning farmers to limit the exposure of their livestock to the NCAA tournament.
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