50 Cent to Index Name for Inflation, in 2008 Will be 54.9 Cent
Jamaica Queens, NY -- In a move applauded by economists and educators alike, last week rapper 50 Cent decided to index his name for inflation. The move will tie his name to the wider economic landscape of the nation. When a large basket of goods go up in price, 50 Cent’s name will rise as well to adjust for inflation.
"I think this move will be a great teaching tool for inner city children. After all, for decades those lowest in society have been the least informed about the economic forces at play, thus cementing their place at the bottom," said economist John H. Crabtree.
Some industry executives are worried about the move. Their fears have only been intensified by economic projections that by 2008 Fiddy’s new name will be 54.9 Cent, and within as few as 5 years, their may be no Fifty left in his name.
Other artists have varied reactions.
"If he wants to be on the cutting edge, I respect that and wish him the best of luck, but as for me I am sticking with Young Buck," said rapper Young Buck.
In a separate statement the rapper’s publicist confirmed that he would be sticking with Young Buck, held constant at 2001 dollars. "Young Buck sets the standards. He does not have to react to the times. Everybody else had better translate into his own terms for comparison sake," the statement read in part.
Asked about whether he would follow suit with a name change of his own, 50 Cent’s mentor and friend Eminem had this to say, "I think the regular old Eminem is the best. There is no need to change a classic. My advice is if anyone tries to push some new and improved Eminem on you, you turn it down and stick with the sweet and tasty original."
In a related story, Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs, aka P. Diddy, has announced that he will change his name once again, this time to P-to-tha-Dizzle-Izzle. It is rumored that Snoop Dogg may have helped him come up with this name.
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