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Posted 2/28/2006

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New Orleans Stands Up for Mardi Gras in Order to Fall Down Drunk

Mardi Gras is such a great place to celebrate, if your form of celebrating involves getting really drunk and letting your morals fly to the wind.  Vist New Orleans! New Orleans, LA -- There has been much controversy of late over the City of New Orleans’ decision to let Mardi Gras go on this year. Despite the cries of critics who say such a celebration is inappropriate in a city that remains in a dire situation, the city has gathered in the spirit of togetherness to create an atmosphere for debauchery. Supporters of the annual event say this is an important means of dealing with tragedy for many people.

"People in many cultures turn to alcohol in times of difficulty for respite," said Generally Awesome resident Psychologist John H. Crabtree.

The event, which corresponds to the Catholic Holiday of Lent, is full of traditions from Europe.

"Drinking is especially prominent in many staunchly Catholic countries. Perhaps the best example of this is Ireland, very drunk, and very Catholic," said one Irish Priest.

Many local partygoers have even adopted the classic pub anthem 'Tubthumping' by Chumbawamba as their own. People interviewed by reporters quoted sections of the song’s lyrics.

John R. Dewby, a local painter, quoted, "'I get knocked down, But I get up again.' That is so New Orleans."

Another local added, "You’re never going to keep me down."

After which a chorus errupted from the crowd gathered in the street, "pissing the night away, pissing the night away."

Later that night in another bar one man took mixed shots as a crowed chanted, "he drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink, he sings the songs that, remind him of the good times, he sings the songs that remind him of the better times."

Following that outburst came a long silence during which most of the crowd turned from happy drunks to sad drunks. What happened next is not known by this reporter, as I felt compelled to leave before they turned from sad drunks to angry drunks.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

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