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Posted 3/22/2006

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Local Pigeon Group Battles NY Yankees Over Name 'Bronx Bombers'

New York City could be embroiled in a battle over the title of Bronx Bombers.  Does this title rightfully belong to a group of pigeons, or to the New York Yankees Baseball team.! Bronx, NY -- Just as spring training is getting into full swing and Japanís win in the World Baseball Classic is settling in, so is a battle over the rightful use of the title "the Bronx Bombers." Representatives for one local pigeon group are seeking an injunction to block the continued use of the nickname by the New York Yankees baseball organization.

"Baseball is a well established tradition in America, and especially in New York City. But as we all know, the presence of pigeons in New York City predates baseball by at least 100 years. Therefore we feel that our claim on the name supersedes all other claims on this name," said the lead pigeon, known only as "Runny McGee."

George Steinbrenner could not be reached for comment, but those close to the leader of the "Evil Empire" say that it is not likely that he will give up without a fight. Some even speculate that, if pressed, "The Boss" might even resort to underhanded tactics like flooding the sidewalks of the Bronx with dried rice.

"Everyone knows that dry rice is the pigeonís Achilles heal. They canít resist the grainy goodness. But once moisture makes the rice expand, it's not pretty," said local pigeon racer John H. Crabtree.

"Runny McGee" told GenerallyAwesome.com, by way of his animal psychologist/translator Fat Joe, that he has already commenced an awareness campaign about the dangers of uncooked rice to pigeons

He added that if George wanted to play dirty he was prepared to order legions of pigeons to reign down doo-doo on the heads of crowds of people in Yankee Stadium. Mr. McGee also added that he was in talks with local Seagull groups about the possibility of including militant Seagulls in the aerial assault. Such a thing could be the most devastating blow to attendance numbers since the baseball strike of the mid 1990ís.

In the clubhouse it seems that there is a tie between Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez for the title "player most scared of getting pooped on."


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