J. Lo Honored For Racial Dexterity

New York, NY (AP) The Universal Academy of Academic Universities (UAAU) announced plans to honor Jennifer Lopez for her skill and adeptness at pursuing love with individuals from a broad array of racial backgrounds at a ceremony to be held later in January.

According to an UAAU press relief Lopez is being recognized for her “commitment to racial diversity so fundamental that it translates into action in the form of whom she marries.”

“It is about time that someone notice just how hard J. Lo has been working to promote better race relations. So hard, in fact,” said MTV gossip columnist Ima Gaiwaad, “that her work in bridging gaps between ethnic groups has entered her personal life.”

Other celebrity news pundits agreed. Elliot from ET said “Her second marriage was to Chris Judd, who looks Latino, she dated P. Diddy, who is black, and she is currently with Ben Affleck, who is about as white as you can get. And let’s not forget about her first marriage to Ojani Onoa. I am not sure what the story is on his ancestry, but his name sounds really diverse. That is solid proof of her commitment to racial diversity.”

Generally Awesome Dotcom contacted J. Lo’s mom to see how she felt about her daughter’s achievement. “After all her work to advance the cause of racial diversity I am very happy that they are honoring her for her commitment. I just wish that she could show the same level of commitment to the institution of marriage,” said Mrs. Lopez in a phone interview.

The award was decided in a unanimous vote during the UAAU meeting held in early November. The UAAU was founded in late April 2003 by Catch Hameron and has a membership of two, comprised of Hameron and his dog Snipe. "We were very pleased with the outcome of the November meeting. Snipe‘s voting rights were re-instated after having been revoked for conduct against the Academy's charter and we were able to move forward with one of the prime objectives of our organization, that being giving away awards that sound nice but are totally meaningless," said Hameron via e-mail yesterday.