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Vets Puzzled by
Hat in the Cat

An X-ray taken of Felix the cat last Saturday.

Los Angeles, CA An x-ray taken at a veterinary clinic in Hollywood, CA this weekend revealed the presence of a hat in the stomach cavity of the animal actor Felix the cat. The vets on call are still investigating the origins of the mysterious hat.

"I have been treating Hollywood celebrities since before the days of Spud McKenzie and I have never seen anything like this before," said Ralph Johnston, DVM.

Felix' owners first suspected problems last Wednesday when the cat stopped eating his usual meal size. Later they noticed that the cat had stopped defecating.

"Usually Felix has quite the appetite when he finishes shooting a project," said owner Stacy Giggins. "When we noticed that he wasn't eating anything we grew quite worried."

The project to which Mrs. Giggins referred was a photo shoot for a new children's book entitled "The Rat in the Hat." The premise for the book, inspired by the Dr. Seuss classic "The Cat in the Hat" involves a rat that steals the feline's hat.

"I wanted a story that wasn't flat. So my editor and I had a chat. In no time after that, I came up with the book you're looking at," said author Madeline Liney. "In the story there is a rat, who steals a hat from the cat, with help from his friend the bat."

Felix the cat played the part of the cat, posing for photos to be used for the book. His co-stars were Matt the Bat and Pat the rat, who turned up missing after shooting concluded. Investigators are looking into the possibility that Felix the cat ate Pat the rat. Early evidence seems to support this theory, specifically the fact the hat that Pat the rat was wearing turned up on an x-ray in the stomach of Felix.

"Felix has ingested some strange things before on photo shoots. For example, he swallowed the photographers I-pod at a photo shoot last May," said Ralph Giggins. "I thought it was funny how he played a different song every time he opened his mouth. That was until I saw the vet bill for removing it. Sure, we've made some money with Felix, but the vet bills have wiped out almost any profits."

Owners of Pat the rat are calling for Felix to be put to sleep.

Mrs. Giggins defended Felix saying, "Sure, Felix has swallowed stuff before, but he has never eaten a co-star in all his years of working with birds and mice."

Ethical questions aside, Felix may have to be put down for practical purposes. Veterinarians say that if they are not able to remove the hat from his sternum, Felix may have to be put down.

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