Pres. Bush Uses Word
‘Poopie’ at Speech

Washington, DC (AP) At a press conference last week President Bush spoke to reporters addressing concerns about the War on Terror. In the speech the President told listeners that “to ensure our nation’s national security we have got to be irrelentless in our pursuit of terrorists.”

In a question and answer session following the speech the president was asked about his progress in finding Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. The President’s response puzzled reporters. “Our guys are on them like the fly on poopie,” said Mr. Bush.

When pressed by reporters to explain his use of simile, George W. was initially confused. “Simma Lee? I am not sure who that is?” The President then turned to his aid and asked, “Wasn’t she that White House intern from Philadelphia who worked with Condoleeza Rice last summer? What has she got to do with this?”

After Mr. Bush’s aid explained that they wanted to him clarify his remarks about “the fly” the President replied, “I think my remarks were opaque enough to shed light on the matter.”

Since then many interpretations have surfaced. The most recent explanation comes from Generally Awesome Dotcom Politics beat reporter Philip S. Exeter-Andover. According to Exeter-Andover the remarks are allusions to Ivy League secrete societies similar to the one portrayed in the film The Skulls.

“The President’s use of the term ‘the Fly’ is in reference to the one of the so-called ‘Finals Clubs’ at Harvard. The use of the term ‘POOPIE’ is an allusion to the Princeton Organization for Oligarchic Practices in Industrial Endeavors. As every HBS [Harvard Business School] grad is aware these two quasi-secrete societies have a long-standing rivalry. Mr. Bush would be well aware of such rivalries having attended Yale and HBS,” Mr. Exeter-Andover wrote via e-mail.

Exeter-Andover’s theory has gained many followers in Washington because, as one UVA grad put it, “hey, Philip S. went to Harvard and we didn’t. So he must know what’s what.”

Attempts to reach the Fly or POOPIE for comment were unsuccessful, as both organizations have their numbers unlisted.