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Posted 10/26/2003

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Other Headlines:Arnold Covers Spread Twice in 1 DayVanilla Animal Cookies Sick of Being Called ‘Crackers’

Bride’s Dad Recoups
Wedding Costs w/ Ads

Dress worn by Susanne G. Pennypacker in her wedding last week to Saul Ptongas.

New York, NY (AP) Yesterday afternoon Susanne G. Pennypincher, daughter of industrialist Rutheford H. Pennypincher, married mental hospital orderly Saul Ptongas of Queens. The ceremony, open to the public, was conducted in Bryant Park in mid-town Manhattan. An estimated 7,500 were in attendance.

The ceremony was described by some of those in attendance as “beautiful,” “wonderful,” and “precious, what a lovely wedding.”

Others in attendance were taken aback by the decor. “The flowers were nice, and so was the cake and the table settings and all that, but product placements started to get to me after a while,” said veteran caterer Johnny Burros. “In all my years I have never seen anything like it.”

The product placement to which Burros refers consisted of Budweiser coasters at every table, green wait staff vests with the Mountain Dew logo on the back, and Cingular wireless logo tents for food serving.

For the ceremony a stage, complete with Jumbotron screen as a backdrop, was set up in the park. “At first I thought the screen was a beautiful gesture, as it allowed the crowds in the back to see. That was until I noticed that during the ceremony the screen intermittently flashed advertisements in the background. Honestly, how am I supposed to enjoy the sacred union of these two souls with those ungodly AOL ads popping up right in the middle of my field of vision?” said Pennypincher family friend Robin Banks.

“I was most offended when the bride walked down the aisle. I have no problem if you don’t want to play ‘Here Comes the Bride’ but to replace it with corporate jingles seems rather whorish to me,” said the bride’s grandmother Eliza Pennypincher. “I also can’t believe how they ruined that gorgeous dress with all those company trademarks. She looked like some damn Nascar driver in that gown.”

After the ceremony gossip columnists began to speculate that the corporate advertising presence at the wedding was a sign that the Pennypincher family fortune is not what it once was.

“My guess is that recent losses in key family assests has left the Pennypinchers strapped for cash. And being the cheapskate that he is, I would not be surprised if Mr. Pennypincher saw this as a way to defray the costs of his daughter’s wedding,” said MTV gossip columnist Ima Gaiwaad.

Mr. Gaiwaad was unable to reach the Pennypinchers for comment.

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