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Bat Boy Led U.S. Troops to Saddam . . . Gotcha!

By Mike Foster/ Correspondent Excerpt The following is an excerpt from the book Bat Boy Lives! by David Perel and the Editors of the Weekly World News
Published by Sterling; October 2005;$12.95US/$18.95CAN; 1-4027-2823-9 Copyright © 2005 David Perel and the Editors of the Weekly World News

The U.S. Special Forces troops who captured Saddam Hussein were led to his dingy spider hole by Bat Boy -- who literally sniffed out the filth-covered dictator!

That’s the astonishing revelation of military sources, who say the pintsized mutant will be awarded the Bronze Star for the “vital role” he played in tracking down the fugitive former strongman.

“Bat Boy’s nose is more sensitive than any bloodhound,” confirms a Pentagon insider. “And since Saddam hadn’t bathed for weeks down there, it was a piece of cake for Bat Boy to find him.

“The little guy just sniffed along the ground on his hands and knees, with our soldiers behind him, until he got to that squalid mud hut and started pointing down excitedly.

“That’s when we knew Saddam was under there.”

The U.S. government has steadfastly refused to admit publicly that the mysterious mutant, found by scientists in a West Virginia cave in 1992, has been aiding the military. According to the official version, an unidentified man in Tikrit tipped off troops to Saddam’s whereabouts. But the insider confirms that Bat Boy has been involved in the war effort since last January -- months before the U.S.-led invasion.

“His batlike sonar, ability to see in the dark and other traits make Bat Boy an indispensable tool for the military,” the insider says.

“During the months leading up to Operation Iraqi Freedom, Bat Boy carried out dangerous reconnaissance missions on behalf of the Army. The excellent intelligence he gathered is one of the reasons the Coalition was able to topple Saddam’s regime so easily -- we knew all the enemy’s weaknesses.”

The 5-foot-tall, pointy eared creature also conducted sabotage -- destroying chemical weapons that Saddam had planned to use on Coalition troops.

“He became a real thorn in Saddam’s side,” reveals the insider. “Many of Saddam’s frazzled troops believed Bat Boy was a bat-winged demon of Arabic legend named Pazuzu.”

Bat Boy was rotated home after the end of major combat in May. But when the search for Saddam dragged on fruitlessly, generals summoned the bizarre creature back to Iraq.

“All Bat Boy was given were a pair of smelly old riding boots of Saddam’s,” the insider discloses. “He took one good whiff and that enabled him to follow the trail from Baghdad all the way to Tikrit.”

When troops pulled the cover off the hole where Saddam was hiding, one source says, “Bat Boy caught a strong whiff, I guess, because he reacted like a dog smelling a juicy steak. He had to be held back while a couple of guys went down the hole.”

At first Saddam didn’t realize Bat Boy was outside, says the source, who notes that troops were ordered not to reveal Bat Boy’s involvement.

The Butcher of Baghdad calmly told his captors, “My name is Saddam Hussein. I am the president of Iraq and I want to negotiate.”

When he heard that, Bat Boy could be restrained no longer. He jumped into the hole, and when Saddam saw him, the defeated dictator “just lost it,” according to the eyewitness.

“Saddam started screaming hysterically in Arabic, ‘Pazuzu, Pazuzu! Keep that filthy thing away from me.’ He begged for us to protect him.”

The run-in with Bat Boy may explain why Saddam seemed so docile when filmed undergoing a medical check at the hands of his U.S. captors.

“Saddam’s mind is shot,” says the insider.

President Bush reportedly will award Bat Boy the Bronze Star in a special White House ceremony later this year.

But don’t expect the little hero to rest on his laurels after bagging one of history’s most evil men. White House sources say the president is so delighted with Bat Boy’s success, he’s ordered the patriotic freak to be dispatched to locate another fugitive fiend: Osama Bin Laden.

“Bat Boy has already received the go ahead -- and a red turban once worn by Osama,” confirms a senior administration official.

Note: If you have found this article in the least bit entertaining, you will love this book, which is a compilation of some of the best coverage from the pages of the Weekly World News along with new material.

Visit the Review of Bat Boy Lives! by Boy Llama

Visit the Weekly World News

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