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Posted 09/30/2003

1. Epigrammies #212/213
2. Dorm Crew Ads
3. Epigrammies #210/211
4. Pirate FAQ's
5. Cell Phone Monster

Generally Awesome

Diagram showing some possible 'Generally Awesome'spin-offs reportedly in the works.

New Yok, NY (AP) Rumors are flying on Wall Street this week about the possible announcement of spin-off websites modeled after Speculation has already made stock in Generally Awesome Dotcom rise 20 points to a five month high of

Analysts predict that this deal may even bring the stock value of the company back out of the red. Generally Awesome Dotcom (traded as GAD), which was valued at $.25 a share after its IPO of 20 shares, has spent nearly its entire existence with a negative stock value.

Some of the much anticipated website spin-offs might include Generally Swell Dotcom, a website geared toward an audience composed of 1950’s housewives. According to documents leaked to the press the slogan will probably be “occasionally un-peachy, but generally swell.”

According to sources inside Generally Awesome, other spin-offs might include Generally Fascist Dotcom. This website would potentially market itself to the international fascist community. Sources say the most likely slogan would be “occasionally democratic, but generally fascist.”

According to Seren Dipity, former Generally Awesome secretary for the CEO Catch Hameron, the company is really banking on these new spin-offs. Ms. Dipity said “I overheard a phone call that Mr. Hameron made to investors. In that call he assured the investors that despite the fact that these two demographic groups were relics of the past, [GA dotcom] was expecting their resurgence and hopeful to capture the market value thereof.”

A third possible idea for a spin-off was Generally Pornographic Dotcom- “occasionally clean, but generally pornographic,” was reportedly suggested by one of the younger board members. This proposal was the most controversial of all, however, with execs being skeptical of the viability.

“Mr. Hameron was firm in his position that the market in question was already saturated, and therefore would be a risky investment,” said Ms. Dipity.

In an internal GA memo leaked to the press, one senior VP expressed his concern from a moral standpoint. The memo reads, “We should be in the business of promoting morally sound content, like Generally Fascist Dotcom, not complete filth like Generally Pornographic.”

It is very likely that GP dotcom will not make it out of the conceptual stages.

Last Week's Headline: One Fossil Watch Found, Other Still Missing

_______ "Occasionally lame, but generally awesome."________

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