1. Pirate FAQ's
2. Cell Phone Monster
3. Carrion as a Carry-on?
4. Epigrammies #208/209
5. Letter to Thesis Readers
GA Store Re-Opening Delayed, Citing Restructuring
New York, NY (AP) Friday the online sales division of Generally Awesome Dotcom announced plans to reopen the e-store some time this fall. “Originally we were hopeful that the store would re-open at the end of the summer. But it is clear now that is not a viable option. We have some much needed revamping to do,” said CEO Catch Hameron.
“With the collapse of the Iraqi regime we have lost of a lot of our backing. Orders from Saddam’s administration accounted for 75% of our volume. His personal favorite was our design ‘Saddam is #1.’ I think he gave those shirts out as a door prize at political dinners,” VP in charge of Sales.
CFO Sam Smith said, “Our whole cash flow structure has been eroded. We are currently in the stage of raising more capital to help with the cost associated with our necessary organization revamping.”
GA director of marketing said that the company was researching a new strategy for brand image. “We are trying to distance our-selves from our past business partners for obvious reasons.”
In a story that Generally Awesome Dotcom ran earlier this year (Looting in Baghdad Forces GA Store to Close) the above shirt design was an apparent target of mob violence, as were many other things bearing Saddam’s likeness.
“It is quite ironic that what was once our bread and butter became our poison. I guess the ‘Saddam is #1’ shirt proved to be our Achilles heel,” said Hameron.
Despite successful shirts like the “Impeach Nixon” shirts (also mentioned in the article), the company announced that it will most likely focus on establishing a highly recognizable brand presence.
Designers contracted by GA said, “we are working closely with company execs to create a brand that incorporates pirates. Right now the most challenging aspect is coming up with a pirate icon that strikes the right balance between being ferocious and friendly.”
In an effort to recoup some of the losses associated with the Saddam design, GA has started selling some of the shirts to American soldiers after slightly changing the shirts to say “Saddam is #2.”